Part time lover

am i being too cautious now?
so says the objectives.


then again, i wish all the other voices would shut up
and let me decide for myself.


anyhow.


you're only going to Vietnam and subsequently UK


i should not miss you.


i should not love you.


what the fuck is wrong with me?
i wish i was your part-time lover.
i wish you had a full-time boyfriend
and i was the vixen on the sly.


terrible thoughts yes.
but at least i know
the vixen on the sly
would occupy your mind most times.
and you wouldn't have to hide anything from me even if you had to.


i want to know you're missing because you're with your boyfriend. i want to know that the ugly me is capable enough to bewitch you from your hot boy. i want to know that when you're not with him, you're with me.


i don't like this volatility. i don't like all this mystery. and i detest my insecurities.


i want to be your part-time lover.